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This week, I managed to read two chapters of the novel She’s My Dad written by Iolanthe Woulff. From the beginning of the story, I got myself on the thought that the picture created by the author in the beginning of the seventeenth chapter is somehow related to the fairytale Read Hood written by Brothers Grimm and can be represented by the phrase “I run and you catch”. Probably, this association appeared because of precise description of flirt between the two. However, the impulse can lie in the words of Nickie: “After everything I went through to land him” – “I’m afraid he’s all mine”. The connotation is somehow related.

At some point of the reading, I considered that Nickie is masochist. The tone of narrative pushed to the further reading. However, the feeling that she is hiding something did not leave me. To say more, the topic created by the author went out of the box, which, for me, is the book. I think that it is more important not to listen, but to hear what people around you are saying The narrative itself is far away from the point of perfectness. Nevertheless, the so-called simplicity helps to keep the eye open and follow the lines of the novel.

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What made me mad is the interruption of Nickie’s narrative. On the one hand, I appreciated it and accepted as a gift. On the other hand, the interruption reminds me the well-known truth of all centuries that forbidden fruit is sweet. As a result, I rushed through the pages and the only word that turned me back to the text as a unit was the word eBay. Moreover, I imagined it as a structure followed by people’s achievements. What I probably will never get is the obsession and positioning Russians is a powerful bad side of the world, which is always drunk. Stereotypes, probably, rule the world from A to Z.

Another wearisome idea, which crashed my mind, was why people are not able to follow the decision. At some point, if you are not into the choice you have made, then you stuck into the past and carry this past with you everywhere. There is the feeling, that we, people, are programmed to suffer. Despite the desire to run, hide or forget, we cannot change the past. Nickie’s sudden mention that intervention into son’s life will destroy it arouses the inner protests: where have you been when your son learned to make choices?

In addition, the simple writing of the author helps to get to the understanding of not simple questions. What I liked most are models or frames created by the heroes of the novel. If to say that book is the frame I, than hero created model is the frame II; this creates frame-into-the-frame relation. This pushes to go further because everything has the purpose and the consequence. As a result, not everything is good as well as bad. It is up to me how I consider the text according to my experience, picture of the world, and limits which are set by my relatives and often determine the relationship and its status.

For me, Nickie’s behavior is the evidence of the well-organized and performed play. Often, she (or he; I think it is better to use human being, but at some point it can be regarded as an offence) changes her behavior game from adult to the child and vice versa, and somewhere in between there is parent. Unconsciously, I remind myself Shakespeare’s words that the world is the theatre, and we are actors in it. If I am one of the characters in it, am I good or bad one. Another question is also existential: when I am not playing, am I sleeping or just accepting the information? Finally, it is important how many words others and I create before reaching the point “I am tired of not being!”

To conclude, I can say that this time, reading made me rethink my role and figure out how many masks I wear. In addition, I cannot even say whether I am without a mask and when I am without it. Maybe, the time has not come yet. 

Code: writers15

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