Many employees claim that dealing with complicated and difficult workmates is the most stressful element of their jobs. The following are the eight key rules that may help in dealing with such individuals.
Remaining Calm. Human beings are emotional personalities, who often react to the emotions of the people in their surroundings. Thus, staying calm during a conflict or disagreement would imply that all the people around us can also have control over their emotions, which will help in the solution of the conflict.
Asking Questions. Probing is a key element of solving a conflict in its early stages. One should ask the reason for the actions of certain individual. Consequently, getting the opponent’s viewpoint will help in identifying the cause of the approaching conflict. One may have a perfect reason for the actions that he has taken.
Listening To Facts and Feelings. A person should try to determine the feelings of his or her opponent by observing the non-verbal messages conveyed by the party. Getting the exact facts about the situation will prevent any unnecessary misunderstandings between the two conflicting parties.
Being Specific in Matters, which Bother Someone. Every party of the conflict should avoid making vague claims on the opinions of the other party, which are bothering them. An individual should make an effort of telling the opponent about the exact factors that annoy him.
Dealing With one Issue at a Time. Conflicting parties must avoid introducing new issues before fully discussing a prior issue. This will provide ample time to exhaust all questions of the dispute.
Avoiding Sabotage. Parties of the conflict should control their temper during the process of resolution. This means that the parties should avoid calling names of each other, or making inappropriate ironic signs like rolling eyes during the resolution process.
Proposing Solutions. Each party of the conflict should come up with possible solutions of the argument. Both parties should then analyze the pros and cons of each alternative in order to identify the best option to cope with the conflict.
Knowing When It Is Necessary To Call for Reinforcement. In case if a party has applied all these rules and the other party does not show signs of appeasement, it would be necessary to call for intervention form a senior individual (Deutsch, Coleman, & Marcus, 2006).
Recently, I had a conflict with my roommate. He had concerns about the sharing of responsibilities in the room. I listened to his facts and feelings about the whole issue. I also asked him to be specific in stating the issues that bothered him. This helped because, in the end, we both proposed possible solutions to the conflict and came up with a suitable and fair way of sharing duties and tasks in the house.
These rules are extremely applicable if one has a conflict with a familiar party. This is because an individual comprehends the feelings and emotions of the other familiar party. It is easy for the two parties to dialogue, ask questions, and speak out about the issues that facilitate the conflict. The two familiar parties may then formulate solutions that comfortably satisfy both of them.
Advantages of Using the Rules
- It reduces chances of violence;
- It enhances a better and healthy post-conflict relationship between the involved parties.
- The rules may be ineffective if the other party is uncooperative;
- It is also ineffective when the other party cannot control his temper (Deutsch, Coleman, & Marcus, 2006).
Negotiation Stages in Conflict Resolution
The four stages of negotiation include preparation, exchange of information, bargaining and the closure and commitment to the agreed terms. These stages could be effective in a conflict resolving process. For instance, the preparation stage requires parties to prepare psychologically and mentally, to be ready to share information with the other conflicting party open-heartedly. The second stage would require that parties of the conflict share information about potential sources of the conflict, and possible courses of action (Deutsch, Coleman, & Marcus, 2006).
The bargaining phase will require the conflicting parties to engage in dialogue and create the best solution to the conflict. Finally, the opponents would concur with each other and commit to the agreed settlements of the clash. As it was showed in the above example, we could exchange information with my roommate on the basis of the conflict. We could then bargain on the possible solutions and come up with the most effective one to settle the dispute. Finally, we could then commit to the agreed terms and solutions to this disagreement.