At the beginning of the session I was wondering whether the future looked good or bleak for Mr. X and Mrs. Y. How happy would they be in the next ten years? This couple had known each other right from their earlier ages and time in college. They date and had their first intimate relationship after around three weeks of dating and courting. However, they never cohabited until after their senior years in college. Six months after graduation this couple decided to get married and settle down together. X was the sole bread winner to the family while Y gave birth to children and stayed as a house wife in the house for most of the time.
X felt that the wife was eating too much in the house and was taking care of herself especially her eight issues as she was gaining a lot of weight at an alarming rate. On her own account, Y thought that X was spending most of his time at work and gave little attention to the family in one way or the other. Personally, I think this couple was attracted to each other in a psychical manner as opposed to the emotional link. This has led to the sudden withdrawal from each other in the relationship. Y finally finds X less charming and appealing towards her needs emotionally and sexually. She sees him as having devoted too much of his time in his work leaving very little for her and the entire family. X on the other side view his wife as being overweight and no longer the young college girl that had a lot of sex appeal and drive to the man. Indeed this is why several relationships end up broken. It is basically due to the loss of physical attraction in most of the relationships. A closer look at their background revealed some shocking history as both of them had some form of traditional relationships between their parents. Their parents had a traditional form of relationship among themselves in one way or the other. These traditional relationships that adhere to stereo typed gender roles in the society are less happy to their marriage as compared to the modern systems of marriage.
Due to this, the rate of divorce is quite high in the traditional marriages as opposed to the modern system of family and parenting because every couple has a specific role to play and not to view some partners as mere objects to be used for sexual purposes. Communication becomes very important in this stage of breaking of the marriage between these two individuals. Counseling would then become very important to the individuals to help salvage their marriage.
Counseling Report to the Couple
There has been lots of speculation regarding the issue of pros and cons of providing counseling services to couples in the contemporary society. It is generally perceived that the interviewer will only meet one or two people for an interview depending on circumstances surrounding the whole issue of the process of interview in this modern world. Couple interview has some disadvantages and advantages associated with it. It is often mistakenly viewed that only two individuals must be present at any interview. These are the interviewer and the respondent. However, this notion drastically changes when it comes to dealing with couples’ interview since it will involve not two people but three because it involves the husband, the wife, at the interviewer. There exists the possibility that a third party will participate in the process. This will depend on the factor involved in the whole issue of the counseling process. These may include people like parents of couples, their children, friends, and other relatives of couples who may be deemed useful to help reach some conclusions important to the whole issue related to couples’ problems on a wide scale. From the survey that I conducted involving several couples, it became obvious that a big proportion of surveys were surely conducted in the presence of the third party individuals, who had important information to share with the interviewer. This will depend on the answer of the respondent, which will in turn depend on a number of factors that might include the following:
i.The nature of the relationship between the respondent and the third person;
ii.The amount of interaction that occurs between them;
iii.The sensitivity of questions being asked.
Analysis of the Report on Couples’ Interview
This paper seeks to determine the correlation and the report concerning the past and present histories in marriage. This is in line with the survey conducted by the Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) in 2003. It will provide readers with facts laid behind the factors responsible for the broader and wider understanding of the whole issue related to gathering and analysis of the data used therein. Retrospective and prospective relationship occurs between these avenues of data collection, analysis, and presentation. This, therefore, calls for very accurate and precise method of data collection in order for the whole idea to act in a clear and pro-active manner to help understand and develop the ways and avenues of helping couples in question.
There is a growing list of social scientist, who believe that the approach taken to counseling and encouragement of families living in despair has long since been taken with very little care and understanding of parties involved. Why must this session exclude mature children, who have indeed suffered in this system of administration from the parents in several ways? It is very clear that such children may end up becoming victims or most probably perpetrators of the same acts of evil they have seen their parents performing in one way or another. No evil comes from good and no good comes from evil.
There are numerous family and societal changes that occur during the development and growth of an individual, whether male or female. However, these changes must be viewed with lots of precaution as they may affect understanding and analysis of the problem between a woman and a man in a very complex and uncoordinated manner. Several factors lead to a rise of divorce and separation rates among couples in the current world with individuals having little knowledge and lots of technological advancement. Although this menace seems to be perplexing in most families in Africa and developing countries, it has also become a thorn in the flesh to most of families in the developed countries. It has, as a result, become a bone to chew by most governments in the world.
Interview guidelines will generally suggest that face-to-face interview will only be conducted in private and conducive environment for both the interviewer and the respondent. This may take place at the interviewees’ home, but the interviewer may have many difficulties in dealing with other household members, who may not feel comfortable to handle this case in a amicable manner as compared to a casual interview conducted in the streets of any town or city. Some household members behave in disruptive manner, which will not allow the interviewer to carry out his work.
It is indeed very common for the interviewer to refuse conducting the interview in private settings for fear to lose full cooperation of the respondent due to the peculiarities of the environment created by the immediate family members who may not feel at ease with the interview in their presence. The respondents may also feel encompassed due to fear of divulging information that may compromise confidentiality and reliability of the information about the members of the family themselves. However, the same respondents may feel that they dearly need help of the third party in the discussion to help influence some issue at home and also in order to help achieve the purpose of consequential aid in case this need arises during the interview process in one way or another.
The same third parties may become involved in the discussion due to several reasons not illustrated above. This could be due to the issue of simple curiosity or, in other words, it could be due to factors involving the wish to have power and control over the whole situation in order to avoid any misconceptions that the respondent may put across. Others will do it out of good faith, but others will do it out of bad faith since they are ever guilty of the problem affecting the couple in question. It is, therefore, important for the interviewer to fully understand the input and mission of the third party to such situations at the discussion table.
From the surveys conducted, it became quite clear that the whole idea of the involvement of the third party in the discussion of family issues, especially those touching on partners or couples, had serious impact on the whole project. The presence of the spouse increased the effect of positive assessment of marriage utility. Such utilities could include factors like the use of illicit drugs, especially for legally married couples. Some couples gave more positive responses when their spouses were away as opposed to the effect of the interview while their spouses were around. This can be attributed to the fact that these individuals may not feel free to open up and discuss problems caused by their respective spouses in the presence of the same spouses for fear of tarnishing the image of domestic affairs before a stranger at the expense of salvaging their home in one way or the other.
Conclusion
To conclude the discussion about the issues described in this paper, it is important to point out that as much as it can be easier for one partner to disclose some information pertaining to the other partner, like the date in which the relationship started, it is equally difficult to explain circumstances surrounding the whole array of questions related to the facts behind the problem in their past relationships. It will be difficult for the partner to discuss the latter question as opposed to the earlier question as they touch on very different parts of individual’s life.